My new valuable lesson:
Man, don't be such a donkey.
Learn how to communicate minus the dragon breath.
Even though I just went to the the dentist, dragon breath still shtinks.

My new favorite thing:
Seeing a Prius try to zip away in a tamper. Ecofriendly meets road rage. Titter titter.

My new theory:
Snails have a phobia of stepping on the sidewalk crack.
Makes sense.
'Step on a crack, and you'll break your mother's back.'
Definitely not an option.